Waiting in vain

Today is my 30th day of taking metformin and on Sept. 8 is my expected first day of my menstrual period. I am waiting in vain..Why? I don't want to hope and I don't want to think..but somehow I know deep inside me I am hoping that I am pregnant. I don't have any symptoms that I do but thinking that maybe just maybe the medicine could help me conceive. I guess I am not pregnant and I am fighting the urge to think that I am 'coz I know that at the end if I am not still pregnant I will be the one who will get frustrated and devastated again and again.. I am not losing hope or giving up either its just that I am fighting my self not to think coz its gonna be hard at the end to know that I am not. So, each day I try to keep myself busy to divert my mind off this.

I feel that I am not pregnant because I feel that soon I'll have my period a bit of acne is resurfacing again in my leg, one symptoms that I am having hormonal imbalance and soon I know that I'll have my period. I'am going to see my RE this friday and if at the time I have my period I'all ask for the ovamit if she could already prescribe me to take that. It seems like I couldn't wait any longer on hoping that only metformin can help me conceive. I'll be on night shift this month and I know that this could be another hindrance that i may npt conceive. So, I am hoping that ovamit and metformin could help me conceive this time.

Waiting and waiting..it makes me go crazy..

Metformin

Thank you for the greetings neve and sorry for the late reply. Well what I did feel was on the first week I was bloated really bloated, nausea (super lol), sometimes I vomit or felt like vomiting and constipation. That was for about a week and half, then after that my body get used to it and I rarely have the same side effects though if I eat to much sweet I feel bloated.

Well, I check on the net also that metformin can be helpful in losing weight too coz being on the right weight can balance our hormones and some did get pregnant for just losing weight. I 'am not overweight though I feel I am hehe but I have a big tummy, I think all the glucose was stuck there and doesn't really spread equally to our body and become our energy but instead it becomes stored fats hehe. Most of the RE and OB here are recommending metformin as a first option on handling pcos and sometimes this helps us get pregnant. With me I am on the stage that my body is getting used to it as a did have a mid cycle bleeding, my RE said it was one of the sign that I'am responding to the medicine. Though I dont feel like I'm losing much weight(wish I would) though I think I lost 4 pounds but doesnt feel that I did.

My RE said I should take is for 3 mos and then if I wouldn't get pregnant she'll prescribe me with ovamit(clomid) with metformin. But on friday I'll go to her and asked if its possible that I would start it this september coz' of course I really want to have a baby. This november it's gonna be our 1st year anniversary as a married couple and I pray that by that time I'm already pregnant. There is a thread that I visit on pcos, women are discussing pcos and the medicines though it's in our language only. But I'll try to keep you posted on what's new with pcos and the medicines. I'm trying to research what's the english name for one of our plants here that some people say is a miracle plant its called MALUNGGAY its a green leafy vegetable and it really helps in like diabetes, regularization of blood, anemia and some said it did help them get pregnant. hehe I don't know if some Filipino stores have it there or maybe it has some english name I'll keep you inform.

Take care neve and GOd Bless

My birthday Wish

Two days to go and it's my 27th birthday and all I can think and wish for is to be pregnant. I'm on my 18th tablet of metformin and after all those very hard side effects I have, I am thankful that somehow it has lessen everyday. I am happy and somewhat envious and sad my office mate is pregnant again. I have been trying not to think of the people whose pregnant around me so that somehow I wouldnt feel bad, but I guess my patience and self control is being tested. It's hard working in the hospital as well you will always see women who are pregnant and fight the feeling of depression that Iam not. I am praying harder and harder day by day that He will bless me with my own and Iam planning to go St. Claire Monestry on my birthday to pray there.I' am sad yet I am trying to be more optimistic.

Hoping

It's been a while since I posted here. I went to my OB for my check up again and she prescribed me to take metformin ( humamet) for 3 months once a day. She told me that we shouldn't rush things to get pregnant and it's better to take it step by step and hope that this low dosage of helping me ovulate will get me pregnant and will balance my hormones. After taking the medicine for 3 days I had a mid cycle bleeding on 8/10/09. Since I just had my period last 7/28/09 I asked Dra why this is happening. She told me that this is what they call a mid cycle bleeding and it meant that I'm responding to the medicine. I' am hoping that this is true and that somehow there will be good progress in my ovulation and soon conceive. It's my 27th bidrthday this coming 8/25/09 and I really pray that the best birthday gift i receive is to be pregnant. I'm trying my best not to be depress but be more optimistic. But there are times that I feel that I'm losing sense in my life and become envious of those who are pregnant, which basically most people in my work are.

light feeling

I went to my new OB last July 6, 2009 and I was so glad that I did. She is very approachable and accommodating. I never felt so comfortable like I have with her than any of my past OB. She asked me about my history and positively said well we can work things out and it it give a big sense of relief and hope that I will conceive soon. Then, she physically examined me like my breast, my pelvic bone and having I. E. as well. She was supposed to have me check my pap smear but because I have my menstruation at that time she just did an I. E. I'll have to take provera on July 14 for ten days so that I'll have my period by August 1st and then I'll have to go back to hear so that she can prescribe me with ovamit and teach me more on how to get me pregnant. Loking forward on that day. I really pray that she will help me get pregnant.

can't wait..

Two days from now I'll be going to my fourth and new OB and I can't seem to wait any longer. I hope this time around she will take care of me and help me understand about my pcos and really help me conceive. I have heard a lot about her, she is known in to be a great and nice reproductive endocrinologist. Yesterday, my husband asked me when will I go and see her, surprised by him asking that I asked him why what's the problem?He then told me me nothings wrong its just someone had asked him if I was pregnant already and that made him think about what were going through. He is a very patient and understanding husband although there were times that he seems to really longed to have a baby already. He stays postive and always keep reminding me to keep praying and wait.

I'm scared really scared that I may not give him a child. I can't imagine living a life without a child and without my husband. The thought of not having them both will kill me instantly. I dont have anyone to talk to about what I feel inside, got no one to trust with all of this without judging me and pity on me. When some people keep asking me why I'm still not preganant, I keep a wide smile and joke around saying "my baby is still on vacation" but they dont know that the more they asked the more that I get frustated. Ahhhh..What should I do?this is making me insane and getting me frustrated.

bitz and pieces

The first and last time I took clomid was February '09 took one cycle for 5 days and nothing happened. My Ob didn't do a TVU or explained very well why. She just ask me to let my hubby have a sperm analysis. March, I was so busy with work and preparing to go home to our province for some vacation so we havent focus on trying to conceived and was thinking to changed OB aswell. Read on the net that there are procedures that are done when a pt. are on medications for trying to conceived so that they will able to know if the medicatiions are working. Unfortunately, My 3rd Ob didn't do such procedures and just keep on telling me "youre still young, dont need to rush things". But deep down inside she doesnt know how depress and frustrated I'am.

April came and we were in the province thought it was a vacation but we are so busy aswell going back and forth to my husbands family and mine aswell so trying to conceived didnt happened. May, back in Manila and in a month of night shift so again no time to try. I was delayed for 2weeks thought I was pregnant already, took PT twice and its all negative. Husbands sperm analysis are normal. July 1, 09 I had my period and I decided to really focus by hook and by crook on conceiving and will be going to a new OB who is a reproductive endocrinologist and has information that she is a very good doctor. Hoping that this time she will really help me and that I will be pregnat. Hoping..Praying..