Friday, July 10, 2009

light feeling

I went to my new OB last July 6, 2009 and I was so glad that I did. She is very approachable and accommodating. I never felt so comfortable like I have with her than any of my past OB. She asked me about my history and positively said well we can work things out and it it give a big sense of relief and hope that I will conceive soon. Then, she physically examined me like my breast, my pelvic bone and having I. E. as well. She was supposed to have me check my pap smear but because I have my menstruation at that time she just did an I. E. I'll have to take provera on July 14 for ten days so that I'll have my period by August 1st and then I'll have to go back to hear so that she can prescribe me with ovamit and teach me more on how to get me pregnant. Loking forward on that day. I really pray that she will help me get pregnant.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

can't wait..

Two days from now I'll be going to my fourth and new OB and I can't seem to wait any longer. I hope this time around she will take care of me and help me understand about my pcos and really help me conceive. I have heard a lot about her, she is known in to be a great and nice reproductive endocrinologist. Yesterday, my husband asked me when will I go and see her, surprised by him asking that I asked him why what's the problem?He then told me me nothings wrong its just someone had asked him if I was pregnant already and that made him think about what were going through. He is a very patient and understanding husband although there were times that he seems to really longed to have a baby already. He stays postive and always keep reminding me to keep praying and wait.

I'm scared really scared that I may not give him a child. I can't imagine living a life without a child and without my husband. The thought of not having them both will kill me instantly. I dont have anyone to talk to about what I feel inside, got no one to trust with all of this without judging me and pity on me. When some people keep asking me why I'm still not preganant, I keep a wide smile and joke around saying "my baby is still on vacation" but they dont know that the more they asked the more that I get frustated. Ahhhh..What should I do?this is making me insane and getting me frustrated.

Friday, July 3, 2009

bitz and pieces

The first and last time I took clomid was February '09 took one cycle for 5 days and nothing happened. My Ob didn't do a TVU or explained very well why. She just ask me to let my hubby have a sperm analysis. March, I was so busy with work and preparing to go home to our province for some vacation so we havent focus on trying to conceived and was thinking to changed OB aswell. Read on the net that there are procedures that are done when a pt. are on medications for trying to conceived so that they will able to know if the medicatiions are working. Unfortunately, My 3rd Ob didn't do such procedures and just keep on telling me "youre still young, dont need to rush things". But deep down inside she doesnt know how depress and frustrated I'am.

April came and we were in the province thought it was a vacation but we are so busy aswell going back and forth to my husbands family and mine aswell so trying to conceived didnt happened. May, back in Manila and in a month of night shift so again no time to try. I was delayed for 2weeks thought I was pregnant already, took PT twice and its all negative. Husbands sperm analysis are normal. July 1, 09 I had my period and I decided to really focus by hook and by crook on conceiving and will be going to a new OB who is a reproductive endocrinologist and has information that she is a very good doctor. Hoping that this time she will really help me and that I will be pregnat. Hoping..Praying..