can't wait..

Two days from now I'll be going to my fourth and new OB and I can't seem to wait any longer. I hope this time around she will take care of me and help me understand about my pcos and really help me conceive. I have heard a lot about her, she is known in to be a great and nice reproductive endocrinologist. Yesterday, my husband asked me when will I go and see her, surprised by him asking that I asked him why what's the problem?He then told me me nothings wrong its just someone had asked him if I was pregnant already and that made him think about what were going through. He is a very patient and understanding husband although there were times that he seems to really longed to have a baby already. He stays postive and always keep reminding me to keep praying and wait.

I'm scared really scared that I may not give him a child. I can't imagine living a life without a child and without my husband. The thought of not having them both will kill me instantly. I dont have anyone to talk to about what I feel inside, got no one to trust with all of this without judging me and pity on me. When some people keep asking me why I'm still not preganant, I keep a wide smile and joke around saying "my baby is still on vacation" but they dont know that the more they asked the more that I get frustated. Ahhhh..What should I do?this is making me insane and getting me frustrated.